The Poison
by TearsAndtheFallen
Summary: This is a story of Tonks and Remus, as their journey goes from the end of book 5 to the end of book 7. This story was inspired by the song "The Poison" by The All-American Rejects.
1. Endings and New Beginnings

Disclaimer: The characters of this story do not belong to me. They belong to the wonderful J.K. Rowling.

Summary: Remus and Nymphadora have a strange and tumultuous love. They are so different, and yet so similar. This is their journey, through life, love, and death. Chronicles their time from the end of the 5th novel to the 7th novel. Inspired by the song "The Poison" by The All-American Rejects.

~Endings and New Beginnings~

_You were so young, and I guess I'm old. Open your eyes, and I'll keep mine closed. I prefer standing, you take your seat. I'll be wide awake, you'll be asleep._

Nymphadora Tonks slowly became aware of the distinct sounds of a hospital. She could hear the bustle of moving, the murmurs of people talking, and down the hall screams could be heard as someone got a bone re-grown. Opening her eyes slowly, she could make out the fuzzy outlines of people against the very white walls of the room. As they came into better focus, she could tell that she was seeing her mother, Remus, Mad-Eye, and Kingsley.

She was surprised to see Remus there. They were friends, but only new friends. It puzzled her, but she couldn't dwell on it very hard, because other thoughts began to swim to the top of her consciousness. She began to remember what had happened to her, and why she was in the hospital. It wasn't one of her klutzy accidents. There had been a real battle, and important people were in danger.

"Is Harry alright?" She blurted, sitting up quickly. She couldn't remember if they had gotten him out. She wracked her brain, trying to remember.

Her mother put a hand on her arm to calm her, giving a look that made her lay back down. She began to worry, because she finally recognized that everyone looked so upset. She searched the faces of her friends, begging someone to give her some information. Finally, it was Remus who spoke up.

"Harry and the other children are all safe. They are getting treated for their injuries as we speak." His voice was so somber for such happy news, and his eyes were red and puffy as though he had been crying recently. They had succeeded in their mission! What could possibly be making them all so upset?

"What's wrong, guys? Mission accomplished, right?" She felt like she was missing something, but she honestly couldn't remember. Kingsley and Remus shared a look, and Remus shook his head. Apparently, whatever was wrong was big enough that Remus didn't want to say it. Kingsley looked unsure as well. Tonks looked to her mother, who had busied herself fixing the flowers on the bedside table. It was finally Mad-Eye who answered her question.

"Sirius is dead, Tonks."

It was like being punched in the gut. The air left her lungs so fast, she felt as though she would never be able to breathe in again. The images all came flooding back at once: the spell hitting him straight in the chest, his face half-way between smile and frown, his falling backwards through that dreadful curtain. She remembered Bellatrix's cruel laugh, and Harry's scream. Everything hit her at once, but the tears just couldn't come. She was too stunned. Fate was so unkind, to take her relative from her so soon after they had been reunited. They had only begun to learn about each other, and to become friends. They had so much in common, it was just too hard to think of losing that so quickly. And poor Harry, the boy who had lost so much already. Now he had lost another family member to this dark and terrible regime.

She looked at Remus, who had also lost someone special to him. Sirius, his best friend, had only recently resurfaced after so long dubbed a criminal. At the mention of his friend's death, Remus' eyes began to water again. He whispered something to Mad-Eye, then quickly stepped out of the room. Mad-Eye said his goodbyes, pleased enough to know that Tonks would fully recover, and then followed the dejected man out of the room.

After they left, Kingsley began to fill her in on the other things she missed out on. He then told her that Dumbledore might drop in on her. He explained that ministry matters needed to be taken care of, and they could take a considerable amount of time, so it wouldn't necessarily be soon. After filling her in, he too bid her farewell. That just left her alone with her mother, who came over as soon as the room was emptied out. She grabbed her daughters hand, and gave her a stern look.

"I always worry you'll get yourself killed doing this job. I worry every day that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named or one of those disgusting Death Eaters will off you. When I heard you were here, well I..." She trailed off, unable to finish the thought. Tonks nodded and patted her mother's hand, feeling guilty that she had made people worry so much.

Her mother stood up and made to leave. As she reached the door she turned back and paused. Then she put on a warm half-smile and said, "I am very proud of you, Nymphadora. So is your father. I hope you never forget that." And with that, she too disappeared out the door.

The next few hours became a haze of medi-wizards, sad thoughts, and strange musings.

This time, when she awoke she had only one visitor.

"Hello Nymphadora" Remus said in his low and thoughtful voice. He made an attempt at a half-smile when she scowled at his use of her first name. Remus was leaning against the ghostly white hospital wall, rather than sitting in one of the vacant seats in the room. She had noticed he was often like that, too humble to take advantage of the comforts that so many others took for granted. Though she knew it came from the discrimination he had faced throughout his life, she still couldn't help but feel that it was a noble and attractive trait.

"Wotcher, Remus. You ok?" She spoke softly, slightly afraid that she might upset him. He seemed to think for a moment before responding, as if he weren't sure. Or perhaps, she thought, he is holding back his emotions to make me feel better.

"Better than yesterday", he finally responded. He looked weary and sad, but not as much like he wanted to cry. "It is hard. I have lost so many friends in these past few years. Losing Sirius..." he swallowed hard, then continued, "it brings back memories of losing James and Lily, Ivy...Frank and Alice..." He stopped, clearly lost in thoughts of a far off past. Tears shone at the edges of his eyes, threatening to fall, but he blinked them away.

"Come sit down," she told him firmly, gesturing to the chair her mother had earlier occupied, which was next to her bed. "Tell me about them. I'd love to hear stories, because I've heard such good things about all of them." She hoped talking would help him. As he began to talk, things changed. He didn't look like a worn and broken man, but a vibrant and lively man trapped by his past. He laughed at some ridiculous stories of school boy tricks with his friends, shuddered with the memory of their first lost close friend, and even cried as some of the stories unfolded. They were together for so long that Tonks had lost track of time. When she yawned, Remus came out of his thoughts and looked embarrassed.

"I've talked you nearly to death. I really am getting old." He said, sighing as he stood. She held his hand lightly in her own.

"Don't worry, I enjoyed listening to you, Remus. Please visit again soon." She meant it. It felt as though they were dear old friends, for he had let her into his thoughts. She loved his stories, as well as his company.

"Alright," he agreed. A smile ghosted across his face. "I will visit you soon."

She watched him leave, wishing he didn't have to. But the need for sleep was quickly taking over. She thought of him as she drifted off for the night.


	2. Wounds and Recovery

Author's note: I just wanted to thank all my readers thus far. It sometimes gets discouraging to write and think that it has no impact. I am glad I have been able to delight so many of you already, and I hope many more will read and enjoy.

Tonks was finally at home, and it was wonderful to be back in her familiar surroundings. She savored the warmth of her living room, and the comfort of her very own bed. She had never realized how happy she was just being alone in her own space, but it was fantastic after the constant company of the hospital room. The first day she was back she threw all her things down on the kitchen table, and walked into her room and just let the look and feel of the place wash over her. She took in the navy blue of her bed-spread, and the steely gray of her walls. She lit some incense and let the smell of her prized honeysuckle permeate the house,getting rid of the too clean hospital smell that had begun to burn its way into her nose.

The day after her return from the hospital, there was a knock at her door. She was sitting on her living room couch, reading, and at first she wasn't sure she had really heard anything. Then, a minute later the knock came again. She sighed and made her way over to the door, ready to tell her mother off for showing up unannounced. She swung open the door, banging it into her knee in the process.

"Oh bloody...!" She exclaimed, and then looked up to see Remus was standing at the door. He had a peculiar half-smile on his face as he watched her limp backwards slightly to admit him into her home. And that was the beginning of something new.

He began to visit her every day. He was worried about her being alone, worried that maybe someone would come after her. Or at least, that's what he told her and himself. Sometimes he would just stay for a cup of tea, and other times they took long strolls to wherever their feet led them. They talked about all ranges of topics, from literature to music, and about the people they had loved and lost.

One walk took them to a large pond not too far from Tonks' house. It was a nice day out, with a slightly crisp quality to the air. Tonks slipped off her shoes and sat so that her feet were in the water, but the rest of her was safely dry. As usual, Remus continued to stand. He was close enough for Tonks to lean back against his legs, and she did just that. He made no protest.

"Do you think Sirius is with James and Lily?" Tonks asked, staring out at the water. Though she had never met Harry's late parents, the stories that Remus had told her over the last couple of weeks had made her wish she had. They seemed like such magnificent people, and it made her sad to think that they had been taken out of the world.

"I hope so. I hope they are all happy and together out there. I hope we're doing them proud." Remus replied. She nodded her agreement.

Even though Tonks had only been an Auror and an Order member for a short time, Tonks had seen enough death and destruction to last her a lifetime. Remus understood that. He understood all too well the way she felt. When she was younger, she never imagined she would see so many die by the age of 23. She felt sadness for her friend who had seen and suffered so much more. Her heart hurt for Remus. She wished she knew how to heal the wounds of his heart.

Remus finally broke the silence.

"I like your hair this color and length. It fits you so well, and you look beautiful." He told her, looking down at her.

She began to blush a furious red, almost the same color as her hair. It was short and spiked, and complimented her heart shaped face and deep brown eyes.

"Well, thank you," was all she could say. She felt stupid, as though she were a school girl with a crush. Then it hit her. These weeks of talking with him had given her feelings stronger than friendship. She liked Remus, and longed for his friendship, his companionship, and anything else he could give her.

_But he's almost twice your age,_ her mind tried to warn her. _What does age matter, really, _another part of her argued. She shook her head, chasing all these thoughts away. There was no way Remus would ever like her in return anyway, so what did it matter?

Remus looked at her with a raised eyebrow. He apparently though that her head shake was in response to a question she had not heard him ask.

"Sorry, what did you say?" She asked, blushing again for not paying attention.

"I asked if you were ok." He replied, a half-smile gracing his lips once again.

"Oh yes! I am fine." She replied, laughing slightly. He laughed too, and she couldn't believe what a beautiful sound it was. She rarely had the opportunity to hear him laugh, because he was always so serious. She was glad that he sounded genuinely happy, for probably the first time in several weeks, and it was because of her that he was happy.

"It's nice to hear you laugh. You are so handsome when you smile like that." She told him matter-of-factly, looking up at him. His smile died away quickly, and he stepped back, causing her to fall backwards.

"Hey! What was that for? What did I say?" She stood up and brushed herself off, feeling very confused.

"I am sorry, Nymphadora. I let this go too far." He looked afraid, and a bit angry. "I have to go." He then apparated before she could say anything in reply.

"I guess I wasn't the only one who felt something." She whispered, crossing her arms.


	3. Jobs and Journeys

Things had begun to return to something that at least resembled normal. Tonks was finally able to return to work, though she had been forced to take a desk job. Being at work kept her busy, but desk work has never been the type of thing that can keep the mind occupied for long. She found her mind wandering quite often, in fact. She thought about Sirius, and about Harry, and even though it hurt she thought about Remus. He had not spoken to her since that day at the lake. He would not even look at her during Order meetings. When he was even at Order meetings, that was. He kept finding assignments that kept him away from the gatherings, and, she suspected, from her.

A week into work, Tonks sat dejectedly at her desk, wishing that she could be anywhere but in the office. The auror office was conflicted now that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had appeared right inside the ministry. Many were finally coming around to believing that the dark wizard was still alive and active. Others were still quite adamant that this was all some elaborate hoax by the Death Eaters who just couldn't give up their former activities so easily.

No matter what anyone thought, though, the truth that no one could refute was that several kids had been attacked right inside the ministry, and Minister Fudge had not been able to stop it. For that, the public had denounced him, and he was forced to step aside. The newly appointed minister, Scrimgeour, was quite the militant leader. He wanted to rally the troops and get everyone back on the side of the ministry. That meant Dumbledore, first, of course. But the elderly leader of the Order wanted nothing to do with the Ministry anymore. That fact put the members of the Order who worked in the ministry under a lot of pressure to keep the peace.

"Tonks, you have a new assignment." Kingsley's voice preceded him into the room. He strode in, holding a piece of parchment in his hand. "The head of the department says you've been assigned to guard Hogsmeade." He handed her the paper, then turned back toward the door. Before he stepped out, he turned his head back to look at her. "It would probably do you some good to get out of the office. You look like you've lost your spunk." With that he walked out.

It was true, she had seemed less lively of late. She didn't feel like her vibrant self, and it showed. Her normally brightly colored hair was a mousy brown that lay limp about her shoulders. Her facial angles were soft, but her eyes looked puffy and tired. She could only hope that getting out of the office would do her some good. She stood to pack up some stuff, moving papers around on her desk in order to find her wand. She knocked a stack of papers off her desk, and she cursed as they spread across the floor of her cubicle. She bent down to pick them up, and nicked her head on the very edge of her desk. She sat down on the floor, holding her head and trying not to cry. Things just couldn't go right for her, could they?

Just as she found she felt that getting up would be the best plan, she put her hand down and felt her missing wand. A small smile crept to her face. Maybe things really would start looking up. A paper memo floated into her room, and landed softly on her desk. She stood up, and picked it up off her desk, forgetting all about the pile of papers on the floor. She opened it, hoping it wasn't a new order to keep her in the office. But she was surprised to find what the note really contained.

_Tonks, I am going to be gone for a while. I am going to spend some_

_time with the werewolves, for Dumbledore. He thinks that we can persuade_

_some of them to join our side. I am not quite as sure, but I thought I should _

_write to you and say Goodbye. I don't know if I will be back from this one._

_I wish I could have seen your face one more time, but I fear I wouldn't have_

_the strength to leave if I did._

_-Remus._

Tonks could feel tears welling in her eyes as she finished the note. She hoped against all hope that he would be safe, but knew that it could be a fools hope. She blinked the tears away, and vowed she would try to be strong for him. She had faith, he would live.

She gathered her wand and cloak, and apparated with a pop.


End file.
